Mary, Mary, Shut the Door

  Mary, Mary, Shut the Door

  Benjamin M. Schutz

  MYSTERIOUSPRESS.COM

  Dedication

  For JoAnne,

  my best friend and

  the love of my life

  Table of Contents

  Introduction

  1. Whatever It Takes

  2. Til Death Do Us Part

  3. What Goes Around

  4. Mary, Mary, Shut the Door

  5. Lost and Found

  6. The Black Eyed Blonde

  7. Not Enough Monkeys

  8. Expert Opinion

  9. The State versus Adam Shelley

  10. Christmas in Dodge City

  11. Open and Shut

  12. Meeting of the Minds

  Introduction

  I did not start out writing short stories. I had already written three Leo Haggerty novels, when I was invited to submit a short story to the centenary celebration volume: Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe. I did not learn my craft from doing short stories and then tackle the transformation to the novel, a format without limits. Rather, I had already developed a style (I think you will see a consistency across these stories, written over the span of seventeen years) and had to learn to adapt this style to the rigors of the short story.

  As I reread these stories, some for the first time in fifteen years, I saw commonalities in how I structure short stories and as a consequence what the major tasks are that I deal with in writing them.

  Generally, they are time-bound tales; the clock is ticking; something terrible must be averted. I use time to compress my stories, to give them shape and limit. As such they function as mini-thrillers. Pace is very important. You have to lay out the challenge, introduce the protagonist and get moving. Without that, the heart will not race. Many stories begin with the hero already engaged in the central action of the story.

  Time also provides the pressure for Hemingway’s dictum “Courage is grace under pressure.” What is that “grace”? For me, and my characters, it’s the ability to keep a clear head and fashion effective actions when there are very high stakes, and “failure is not an option.” It’s also the ability to keep a clear moral compass, when the gales of seduction and danger threaten to throw you off course. That’s a tall order for twenty pages. So economy of language is important; you don’t have any words to waste. Misdirection of the reader to preserve suspense is often the result of ambiguity in the text. Ambiguity is achieved by precision in expression. What is revealed and what is omitted, and how that is done. These were elements I had to learn and relearn as I wrote short stories; pace, economy, precision.

  I spend a substantial amount of time researching my short stories. For a thriller to work, there has to be an ever-present sense of inevitability to the increasing peril. Nothing deflates the blood pressure cuff on a thriller faster than a stupid protagonist. My research helps me understand how an experienced, knowledgeable person would respond to the predicaments I construct. I then use that “insider” knowledge to be creative in how they resolve it. I want the reader to feel that they would have done all the same things as the hero, would still be facing the impending danger with only two pages to go, and be surprised at the very end.

  I think that style is especially important in genre fiction. The major dangers of genre fiction are cliché and boredom. A genre’s conventions are a contract. Like all contracts, they tell you what is the minimum you can expect from the tale—not the maximum. The minimum is a Sisyphean reading experience—you push the same tale with the same characters up that damn hill. Style, a unique way of telling the story, provides freshness and vitality to not-so-novel plots or characters. For me, I try to use dialogue and metaphors to make the story fresh; to put memorable lines in my characters’ mouths; provide resonant images for the readers’ minds, and pithy insights into the human condition. When successful, these tools create a depth to the story without adding length or slowing the pace.

  My debt to Raymond Chandler is obvious in what I have just written. In fact, when I wrote my first short story, I reflected on what attracted me to Chandler’s writing. I wrote:

  Chandler brought a poet’s intensity to the mystery. His images made the “same old scenes” fresh and vibrant and lodged them firmly in my memory. He wrote dialogue in the language we wished we spoke and he made it sound natural anyway. Sometimes I would read pages out loud just to savor the sound of those words.

  I’d settle for being remembered that way.

  I’ve grouped this collection around different protagonists: Private Eyes; Forensic Psychologists; Police Officers; and last, the anomaly in my writings, a story without a hero of any sort; the last tango of two serial killers.

  The private eye stories start with two about the Ellis brothers, Matt and Sean. They are based on my sons, who worked as private eyes/process servers for a couple of summers in college. I remember what they said about the job. They liked it because it had consequences; it had impact; and you had to think on the run. Not like mis-flipping a burger. The first, “Whatever it Takes,” was a finalist for the Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine Reader’s Award. The second story, “Til Death Do Us Part,” was written for this collection. Next are my three Leo Haggerty short stories. The second one, “Mary, Mary, Shut the Door,” is my best-known short story. It won both the Edgar and Shamus awards for short story (1992). Only Lawrence Block’s “By the Dawn’s Early Light” (1984) has also pulled off that double. Trying to emulate Lawrence Block is always a pathway to excellence. The third Leo Haggerty story, “Lost and Found,” gave me a chance to tie up loose ends from “Mary, Mary, Shut the Door,” and the last Haggerty novel, Mexico is Forever. It was reprinted in A Century of Noir, chosen by Max Collins and Mickey Spillane. The last story, “The Black Eyed Blonde,” has been changed slightly from the original. The detective is no longer Philip Marlowe, but now his lesser known, but equally effective, fellow L.A. gumshoe, Max Barlow. Other characters’ names taken from Marlowe short stories have also been changed. In all other respects it is the original story, from the collection Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe.

  That collection was the subject of an interesting research paper. “The Not So Simple Art of Imitation: Pastiche, Literary Style, and Raymond Chandler” by Sigelman and Jacoby in Computers and the Humanities, volume thirty, pages eleven through twenty-eight, 1996. It’s a fascinating computer analysis of style and concludes, unsurprisingly, that none of us who wrote stories for that volume would be mistaken for Chandler. Of the twenty-three stories in the collection, mine was rated fifth closest to Chandler’s style. I was pleased to learn that I had achieved a modicum of success in carrying my appreciation of Chandler into my own work.

  The next section is my forensic psychologist stories. The first two feature Dr. Ransom Triplett (Who is in a peer supervision group with Dr. Morgan Reece of The Mongol Reply). “Expert Opinion” was cited as a distinguished story in Best American Mystery Stories of 2000, and the other, “Not Enough Monkeys,” was chosen by long time Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine editor, Janet Hutchings, for her anthology, Crème de la Crime. This section ends with my one foray into science fiction. I retold the story of Frankenstein’s monster as a forensic pre-sentencing report. I’ve always seen the story as that of the unloved child, cursed by the gift of life, who destroys himself and those who reject him. We have thousands of such children in our jails and hospitals.

  The next section has two stories infused with my brother’s experiences as a Washington D.C. police officer. “Open and Shut” was chosen by Jon Breen for his anthology Mystery: The Best of 2001.

  The last section has one short story in it. “Meeting of the Minds” or what happens when two cats mistake each other for mice.


  I’d like to thank my agent and friend Lynn “Swifty” Myers, Jr., for all his help bringing this project to fruition. The leap from legal pad to computer disk was long indeed. My wife, JoAnne Lindenberger, was as always, an enthusiastic researcher and my best editor. What crosses other people’s desks has had the benefit of her tempering of my excesses.

  Time to let the stories speak for themselves. I hope you find them gripping, surprising, and that they linger longer than the reading.

  Benjamin M. Schutz

  Woodbridge, Virginia

  February 2005

  PRIVATE EYES

  MATTAND SEAN ELLIS

  LEO HAGGERTY

  MAX BARLOW

  Whatever If Takes

  “Wake up, Sean, Mickey called. We’ve got work.”

  His brother, Matthew, prodded him with a toe.

  “You need a shower too. You’ve still got paint in your hair.”

  Sean Ellis grunted but didn’t move. He entered each day with the ease of a twelve-pound breech birth.

  “You better get a move on. I’m not waiting. I’ll take all the work myself.”

  “Like hell you will.” He rolled over, swung his legs over the side and followed his brother out of the bedroom. He went into the shower and watched his brother go into the kitchen.

  Matthew Ellis opened the refrigerator, took out two bagels and a block of cream cheese. Dropping a bagel into the toaster, he reached up and got down two coffee mugs and poured a cup for himself and one for his brother. He carried his cup, milked and sugared, into the living room.

  His mother lay asleep on the sofa. Matthew walked around the living room chairs and turned off the television. More and more often he found her asleep in her clothes in the living room, as if she had only enough energy to get inside the front door.

  Chris Ellis was a petite woman, barely over a hundred pounds. Her son thought she was slipping from lean to frail but hoped that he was wrong. Her blanket had slipped down to her waist and her book was open on her chest.

  He sipped his coffee and looked at himself in the mirror over the sofa. Stocky and muscular, he was dressed in khaki shorts and a dark blue T-shirt from his stint at the medical examiner’s office. Across his chest ran the unofficial motto of that office:

  Homicide?

  Suicide?

  I decide.

  He looked down at his mother’s tiny fists, clenched in her sleep like a baby’s. Her thumbs were tucked inside her fingers. He wondered if she had been fighting in her sleep and hoped that she had won. He wanted to cover them but knew that if he adjusted her blanket, she’d startle and waken.

  The phone in the kitchen rang and he rushed to answer it.

  “Hello,” he said.

  “Matthew, boy. Is that you?”

  “Yeah. Who is this?”

  “It’s your dad. Don’t you recognize my voice?”

  He did, but denied it so that his father would have to identify himself. Every little bit of distance helped. “What do you want?”

  “I’d like to see you and your brother. Talk about things. See where we stand.”

  “Not a chance. You made your choices, now live with them. We sure as hell had to.”

  “Look, Matt, I know you’re angry …”

  “Angry? I’m homicidal, you bastard.”

  “Put your brother on.”

  “Sorry, I can’t hear you. You seem to be breaking up.”

  He hung up the phone and began to massage his temples with his fingertips.

  “What’s up, Matt?” His brother asked as he walked into the kitchen.

  “What else? That was Dad with his Monday morning overture. Let’s talk boys, let’s start over, let’s forget everything that happened. I’m a changed man. I’ve found Jesus.” He squeezed his eyes shut and began to use his palms. “I get such a headache talking to him. You gotta take the next one, man.”

  “Whatever.” He fixed his coffee, handed Matt the bagel from the toaster and put one in for himself.

  He was as long, lean and fair as his brother was short, wide and dark. Like his brother, he’d dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. August around D.C. made anything else unbearable without air conditioning.

  “Sean, let me ask you a question.”

  “Okay.”

  “Have you noticed how gray mom is getting? She’s only forty. Do you think stress can do that to you?”

  “I don’t know man. I’m the art major, remember. I didn’t take psychology.”

  They ate in silence, washed their cups and plates, stacked them to dry, and turned out the lights before they left the apartment. Matt stood by the door, his hand on the light switch looking at his mother’s shape on the sofa.

  “You know Sean, when I was little, I thought the worst times of my life were those nights mom came home with a date. I was wrong. I’d give anything for her to come home with somebody now. She doesn’t even use the bed for herself any more.”

  “Let it be, Matt. We’ve got work to do.”

  Their ten-year-old Subaru had all the pickup of a pair of drunken oxen. Like their previous car, they had bought it at an auction for less than a hundred bucks, planned to drive it ’til it stopped and then get another one. Maintenance had no place in their plans. It was just delaying the inevitable. Like a respirator or a feeding tube. Besides, it cost money.

  Mickey Sloan’s office was tidy and well organized. He had a sofa along one wall for his field agents to sit on and read the papers they were going out to serve. He sat facing them inside a U-shaped desk. His desk phone had five lines. A missed call was a job lost and so he carried a cell phone and a pager with him at all times. A copy machine sat on top of a wall of file cabinets. On the opposite wall next to the window was a large map of the metropolitan region. Through the blinds, Mickey could see the courthouse across the street; a giant paper factory, without any smokestacks. His computer screen had a screen-saver design of a bearded caveman with a piece of paper in his hands, trotting forever across a barren landscape.

  Matt and Sean came in, took their packets off of Mickey’s desk, and sat down to read their day’s work.

  First up was a notice of judgment against Mohammed Ben Zekri out in Herndon, then a witness subpoena for Vu Tran Nguyen in Falls Church. Vu had seen an automobile accident. Lorelei Petty was going to get a notice of deposition in the divorce case of Truman and Molly Wing. She was going to be asked about her affair in excruciating detail. Truman’s attorney had a very limited imagination and the mechanics of lesbian love had to be repeated over and over before he got it. A restraining order was today’s bit of sunshine for Gustavo Martin, courtesy of his girlfriend Mirabella Montoya of the bloodied nose and chipped-tooth Montoyas. Last but not least was a subpoena duces tecum for the records of Lowell Gorman, DDS, pioneer in the use of anesthetic-shrouded fellatio as a dental procedure.

  “How much for these, Mickey?”

  “Ben Zekri, Nguyen, and Petty are twenty-five each; Gorman is thirty, and Martin is fifty.”

  “Anything special we should know?”

  “Watch out for Martin. Serve him together. This isn’t the first girl he’s slapped around. He’s out on bond and looking at some time inside for this one. He won’t be in a good mood when you find him.”

  Mickey cleared his throat. “Uh, I’ve got a piece of bad news for you guys. You know that case you’ve been working on for Barton and Hammon?”

  “Yeah,” they said, drawing the syllable out slowly. They had been working for days to find a way to serve Byron Putnam, who oscillated between his gated condominium in McLean and a security office building on K Street. He was now worth $4.00 an hour and sinking fast.

  “They want it back. They know you’ve had trouble getting to Putnam. There’s another agency that says they can get into his building.”

  “Who?” Matt asked.

  “Amanda Marshall.”

  “Right. She thinks one of her hos in hot pants and a halter is gonna do the job.”

  “Yep.”


  The boys shook their heads. “She’s probably right,” Sean said. “The gimp at the gate will go brain dead, drool down her cleavage and the chemical reaction will make her invisible. I remember reading about that.”

  “Hey, I’m sorry. I know you guys put a lot of time on that one, but they’re the clients. They can take the paper back.”

  “Fine, fine. It’s out in the car. We’ll drop it by their office later today. Any more good news?” Sean muttered.

  “No. That’s it.”

  “How about letting us into the ‘Icebox’. We’ve been here almost three months already. You know we can do the job. How about it?” Matt asked.

  Mickey mulled it over. They were leaving soon to go back to school. He wanted to hold it out as a carrot to get them to come back over the Christmas break. On the other hand, they were reliable and hard working. Maybe a taste of bigger things now would whet their appetite. Christmas gifts could run into beaucoup dollars.

  “Alright. Here’s the rules. The ‘Icebox’ has papers we haven’t been able to serve. They may not even be valid anymore. You’ll have to check with the lawyer and the client to see if they still want them served. If they do and you’re successful, you keep all the money. So check with the attorney on that too, some are worth more than others. But it’s strictly a sideline—something you do after you hit the current jobs. I like keeping that box small. That means we tag all the fresh ones. Understood?”

  “Understood.”

  Sean took the box down and sat it on his lap. Matt leaned over as they thumbed through the papers. They were filed alphabetically.

  “We’ll come back when we’re done today and research these, see which ones we want to pursue,” Sean said.

  “Good hunting. You better hit the streets. One last word about the ‘Icebox’, even though I don’t think you need it. One reason I don’t let everybody in there is because of the risk of sewer service.”

  “What?”

  “Sewer Service. I once had a guy claim he’d served a paper when he’d flushed it down the toilet. He figured we couldn’t find the guy so he wasn’t gonna show. Easy money. Well we couldn’t find him because he was dead. That came up at the hearing. Not a shining moment. I got a reprimand and he got sixty days. My reputation rides along with you two every day, but hey, I don’t need to say that, that’s why I’m letting you into the ‘Icebox’.”